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Writer's pictureMelanie LeeAnn

So you wanna find a kink therapist, huh? Buckle up!

So you wanna find a kink therapist, huh? Buckle up! Okay, first things first: let's ditch the stuffy therapist stereotype. You're not looking for someone who's gonna judge your leather pants or flogger collection. You need a therapist who's cool with your kinks and wants to help you navigate them in a healthy, fulfilling way. Here's the lowdown on finding your kink-friendly therapist bestie: 1. Ask around: Your local kink community is a goldmine! Chances are, someone's had a good experience with a therapist who's down with the D/s, impact play, or whatever floats your boat. 2. Get online: Websites like NCSF and AASECT have directories of therapists who welcome all things sex-positive, kink included. You can even filter by location and insurance! 3. Google your heart out: "Kink-friendly therapist near me" is your new best friend. You might stumble upon hidden gems who haven't made it to the big directories yet. 4. Once you've got a shortlist, chat 'em up: An initial consultation is your chance to grill them (metaphorically, of course). Ask about their experience with kink clients, their comfort level with your specific interests, and how they handle boundaries in the therapy space. Remember, you're interviewing them, not the other way around! Here's your cheat sheet of questions to ask:

  • "Have you ever met a client who could tie me up like a pretzel?" (Okay, maybe not that specific, but you get the idea. This category of questions is more about what is the therapist's experience with kinky clients.)

  • "What's your kink vocabulary like? Can you tell the difference between a flogger and a flaneur?" (Bonus points if they can crack a whip-related joke.)

  • "What are your boundaries around kink? Are you cool with me talking about, well, everything?"

  • "Do you see vanilla and kink as two separate worlds, or are we all just playing with different toys?"

Finding the right therapist can feel like searching for the Holy Grail (or maybe the Holy Paddle?), but don't give up! There's someone out there who gets you, wants to help you thrive, and maybe even owns a pair of chaps themselves. P.S. If you hit any snags along the way, remember these tips:

  • Do your research: Knowledge is power, and knowing your options helps you avoid therapists who, well, flog you with judgment.

  • Be upfront: Let them know you're looking for a kink-friendly therapist, not a vanilla therapist who'll try to convert you to crochet.

  • Educate them: Even the kink-friendliest therapist might need a crash course in your specific interests. Don't be shy, whip out your knowledge!

  • No therapist is perfect:  If things don't click, move on! You deserve a therapist who makes you feel like you can explore your kinky side without judgment.

Go forth and conquer, you beautiful kinkster! You're gonna find your therapist soulmate, and when you do, therapy sessions will be the hottest thing you do all week (besides, you know, actual hot stuff). 😉

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